Author Archives: CharlieClaywell

About CharlieClaywell

I have been a writer for years, mainly as a reporter, but I have always enjoyed history, especially non-mainstream stories buried inside old documents. My blog mostly centers around those stories. On occasion, though, I deviate and talk about my dog, vintage toys and what it's like to be middle-aged.

25 And Counting

Posted on December 15, 2015 by CharlieClaywell

Today marks my 25th wedding anniversary.

It’s amazing how little I knew when embarking on this journey, but despite my naivety, it all worked out — and better than planned. I’ll be upfront and admit that my marriage, like many I suppose, should not have survived. The odds were definitely not in our favor. We came from different circumstances, different generations and, we had at least one person on each side, with deep reservations about our relationship.

But we had two things working in our favor: mutual respect and a deep connection.

Those ingredients were key. Those attributes cover a multitude of sins. They mean you are willing to look past the surface noise and failures. In Amy’s case, it meant looking past my goatee, Fu Manchu and mullet (what can I say I was a product of the late 70s/early 80s).

But more importantly, that deep connection meant we could weather all of life’s ups and downs.

For the most part, Amy and I have been blessed. But, like any couple, we’ve faced some hard times including learning 17 years ago that our twin pregnancy had been reduced to one. As newly expectant parents it was a tough blow to go from the thrill of twins to the realization that one ‘has been absorbed by the other.’ The birthing process was tough too — an emergency C-section. The longest 45 minutes of our lives was after our daughter was born because Molly was immediately taken to the ICU — and whenever we asked, ‘how is she?,’ the answer was always the same. ‘They have the best nurses working on her.’

We weren’t dumb, we could hear what they were saying.

Molly preparing food at Anna Lee’s — apparently Molly did not enjoy the aroma.

Meconium aspiration was the culprit, but Molly was a fighter (and still is), but the image of an IV attached to her small head is one of the first images I have of my daughter. But she made it. We made it. And everyday I see my daughter thriving and living life to the fullest, I know how lucky I am. The life force is strong and some things are just destined to be.

In the same way I knew nothing about fatherhood and have learned by trial and error (with plenty of mistakes, like overreacting to small missteps), I knew nothing about what it meant to have a good marriage.

But I knew what I did not want.

Some people seek out a spouse who agrees with everything they believe. I never wanted that. I wanted an equal, someone who would challenge my thinking and help me reach my fullest potential. Someone who demanded respect because of the choices they made and the life they lived. I wanted someone that wanted the best for themselves because I knew it would bring out the best in me. I wanted to be with someone who had a deep conviction to play life fair and hard. Someone with empathy and understanding. Someone who would not yield to pettiness and crumble in adversary.

In short, I wanted Amy. I was lucky — she wanted me, too.

My only complaint — the 25 years have passed so quickly.

Categories: Family History

Epitaphs: Getting In The Last Word

Posted on December 14, 2015 by CharlieClaywell

Gravestone of my grandfather's sister. His mother died three weeks earlier due to complication of childbirth.

The gravestone of my grandfather, Charlie L. Claywell’s sister. His mother died three weeks earlier shortly after his sister was born.

As a family historian, I’ve spent a lot of time in graveyards. I been in small ones, large ones and a couple that were only accessible by foot. Inside these cemeteries a family’s cultural, political and religious leanings can often be deciphered through the symbols and phrases used on tombstones — although some customs, like tent graves, are open to speculation.

But in all of my family gravestones, the one thing I have never found are markers that offer some humor even though I come from a family with quite a few witty individuals. Instead, most of the inscriptions are similar to the one on my great-great-grandfather Richard Lewis’ stone which reads,

Having finished his course,
Now lies silently asleep

Although there is nothing wrong with this approach, witty epitaphs give us an insider’s look at the personality of the deceased.

Modern Tombstones

Tombstones have come a long way in the past two or three decades. With 3D-style printing, tombstones featuring everything from high resolution color photographs to modern graphics of the stairway to Heaven, these newly styled stones create an out-of-this-world brand for the deceased. It’s not a bad thing. Traditionally graveyards have served as a reminder of the joy, sorrow and temporal nature of life. Modern tombstones often enhance this experience by memorializing the deceased in a manner more consistent with the way in which they lived.

It’s been said by many that all you truly control on your gravestone is that dashed line between your date of birth and your date of death — but more and more people are capitalizing on the power of words to leave a message beyond the grave. And some of these people have found creative ways to leave behind an insight — or a smile — for those stopping by to visit.

Humorous Epitaphs

Although humorous gravestones have been around for a long time, from the much borrowed, “I Told You I Was Sick” to “Here lies an atheist. All dressed up and no place to go,” some are more personalized. Winston Churchill, who knew he was a handful in life, wanted his epitaph to reflect that reality. His gravestone says,

I am ready to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Others, like American Founding Father Benjamin Franklin, known for his wit and wisdom, could not resist playing off of his occupation on his tombstone. His reads,

The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer (like the cover of an old book, its contents worn out, and stript of its lettering and gilding) lies here, food for worms. Yet the work itself shall not lost, for it will, as he believed, appear once more In a new and more beautiful edition, corrected and amended by its Author

And although, Ezekial Aikle of Nova Scotia is unknown to the world, his wit shines through the ages. His stone says,

Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good Die Young

But one of the best for getting the final say has to go to this man who, even in death, seems quite bitter. His stone reads,

In 1958 a contest was held to find the meanest woman in the world. Alas I married both the winner and the runner up … But if either are buried in this lot beside me there is going to be a resurrection.

More For The Road

Plenty of funny or unusual epitaphs exist online. Here are a few lists:

Categories: Family History, Genealogy, Middle age

Is GOP Frontrunner Trump A Reality-TV Version Of 1850s Know Nothings?

Posted on December 10, 2015 by CharlieClaywell

One thing is certain for the 2016 GOP presidential ticket — what it has lacked in substance it has more than made up for in entertainment. At some point Trumpisms will almost certainly surpass Bushisms with regards to the ridiculousness of their nature. But part of the great marketer Donald Trump’s appeal (to one-fourth of the GOP electorate) is his ability to say something without really saying anything at all.

Although examples of this skill are seemingly endless, one of the most recent ones came on the wake of the tragic shooting in San Bernardino when Trump, speaking at a pep rally, was asked how he would deal with the situation.

“I would handle it so tough, you don’t want to hear,” Trump said, adding as he pointed to the cameras, “You don’t want to hear how I’d handle it. I would get myself in so much trouble with them, we are going to handle it so tough. And you know what we’re going to do? We’re going to get it stopped.”

Despite sounding more like a bragging co-worker who is always going to ‘show them,’ and offering no policy or solution — the cheering crowd lapped up his rhetoric. It begs so many questions, but one is — would people really elect such a demagogue?

Well, if history is an indicator, it could happen because, in many ways, Trump’s rhetoric, is just a throwback to the platform of the 1850s American Party.

The engine that propelled the American Party was fear and nativism. The party was afraid of so many things, but mostly non-white, non-Protestant citizens. They were especially afraid of the Irish Catholic immigrants. The Know-Nothings, as outsiders dubbed the group because of the secrecy associated with the organization, latched onto the naïve belief that “all Catholics were controlled by and took orders from the pope in Rome.” One of their goals was to remove from public office any Jew or Catholic.

As a History News Network writer notes,

The 2015 Republican playbook does look as if it is drawing on several themes and tactics from the 19th century movement, most notably anti-immigration and the rejection of traditional politics. The third pillar of the Know Nothings, anti-Catholicism, could easily be updated using the “replace all” function on a computer, substituting in the word Muslim for the earlier threat to Protestant values.

As the American Party pushed it politics of fear, it found early success and within a few years — 1855 — 43 members of the House of Representatives and five Senators were American Party members. But fear can only motivate voters so long especially when the priority of what to fear is called into question. Within a year, the Party split into factions over the issue of slavery. The party backed Millard Fillmore for president (he won Maryland) and by 1859, the Party opposed to so much and fearful of even more was finished — just a forgotten footnote in American history.

How about the modern marketer Trump and his nativism? Will Christians continue to flock to him, despite the fact that he took nearly a month to come up with his favorite Bible verse. Will the billionaire — whose abrasive, ‘speak my mind’ approach to politics has defied predictions — lead the country down a well-worn path of exclusivity?

Hopefully not, but it’s happened before.