Funny Stories

If You Need A Laugh — Check Out The Chrisleys

Posted on June 9, 2015 by CharlieClaywell

I’ll admit, I watch a couple of reality TV shows: Big Brother and Chrisley Knows Best. Big Brother starts in a couple of weeks and watching the conniving unfold is somehow entertaining. It is also a reminder of how few personality types exist in our society. But by a long shot my favorite reality show is Chrisley Knows Best.

Todd Chrisley — a fashion-crazed father of five — tries to run a tight ship in his Georgia household. But with two teenagers and a nine year old still at home, he’s not always up to the challenge. Once you’ve watched about 10 minutes of the show you realize just how scripted it is, but Todd’s one-liners and his interaction with his family is still funny.

Having parents raised in the South, I have heard quite of few of the one liners, but Todd’s comedic timing is impeccable. That doesn’t mean he’s the only one who is funny, his children, wife and mother-in-law can all hold their own.

In this season’s opener, Chrisley’s daughter tries to pull one over on her Dad by using her older sister’s ID — after all, the teen Savanah reasons, borrowing a real ID is a misdemeanor while having a fake one is a felony. Of course, good triumphs over evil when Savanah’s older sister, realizing the error of her ways, takes back her ID.

But the funniest part of the episode is when the entire family is interviewed at their home for a magazine. The mayhem in the house, the one liners and the interaction between the family is priceless.

So, if you have a half-hour to kill, and want a chuckle or two, the show airs on Tuesday nights on the USA Network.

Categories: Funny Stories, TV Shows | Tags: ,

Obituaries Go Viral As They Become More Personal

Posted on May 12, 2015 by CharlieClaywell

20150415_124738_16978524838_oObituaries tend to be dry — filled with ‘just the facts’ — because they are designed to provide only a glimpse into a person’s life. In recent years the trend is changing as individuals seek to add their own personality to the final words written about them.

In U.S. newspapers over the weekend, the Associated Press ran a story about some of the lighter moments included in today’s newspaper obituaries. For example, in the April 13, 2015 obituary for staunch Republican Larry Upright of North Carolina, his obituary ends with the line:

“The family respectfully asks that you do not vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016. R.I.P. Grandaddy.”

Of course, with a contentious presidential election already getting underway, his obituary went viral. But these personal lines inside obituaries have become so popular that Legacy, the company that archives obituaries online, has created a funny obituaries page.

Included in the compiled list is the obituary for 67-year-old Christian Louis Hacker, who left,

“…behind a hell of a lot of stuff his wife and daughter have no idea what to do with. So, if you’re looking for car parts for a Toyota, BMW, Triumph, Dodge or Ford between the years of about 1953-2013, or maybe half a dozen circular saws, still in their boxes with the Home Depot receipts attached, you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch. But this is not an ad for a used parts store, this is an obituary for a great man, generous landlord, committed husband and adoring father…”

But it was another North Carolina man, Thomas Taylor, whose final request tops the list in my opinion. Taylor, who possibly felt he had been cheated in life, wanted to make sure he was not taken advantage of in his death. Eight years before he died, Taylor paid for his funeral proceedings — commonly known as a prearranged funeral —  but his concern was he had overpaid for the service. His obituary included this line which noted Taylor’s last wishes was for someone to:

“…contact the Cremation Society to ask for a refund because he knew he weighed at least 20 percent less than when he paid for his arrangements.”

It didn’t mention, though, who should receive the refund.

Categories: Funny Stories

‘K as in Kanada’: A Public Service Announcement

Posted on April 27, 2015 by CharlieClaywell

Whenever I have dealt with scam artists, which has only been a few times, I am reminded of Michael Scott of The Office who fell for the email scam involving the Prince from Nigeria that circulated for years on the Internet (see clip). But a phone call I received the other day was almost as good as the Nigerian email scam.

The caller — who had a very heavy foreign accent — was difficult to understand, but I finally figure out he was telling me he was from the IRS. Now, in the three decades or so I have filed income taxes, I have, on a couple occasions had correspondence with the IRS. The first thing I know about them is they mail everything — phone calls are not their specialty. (If you’ve ever tried to call them, you understand the concept of eternity since you are on hold forever.)

Regardless, I engaged the scam artist and asked what his mailing address was. Eventually I figured out the address number (77) and Northeast, but I could not decipher the street name until he said, ‘K as in Canada.’ I politely informed him Canada started with a C (ok, maybe not politely), and then informed him I would check out his information and call him back.

The next sentence I understood perfectly.

“K, cops come for you.”

After I got off the phone, I did a reverse phone lookup at White pages for the number (202-446-2092) and an alert said suspicious scam activity was associated with the phone number. It also had several comments from users who had recently received the unsolicited call.

Rick said,

Claim it was the IRS and wanted to “settle” a mistake made on past taxes. They went as far as saying that if I didn’t settle up and pay that a county sheriff would arrest me within a couple of hours.

Besides the fact I knew I did not owe the IRS anything, another clue it was a scam was my caller ID. The phone number came up as Voxbone SA — which is an overseas company that “provides local geographical, mobile and toll free phone numbers (DIDs) that enable cloud communications providers to expand the reach of their services.” Which, it seemed to me, would be the perfect type of telecommunication system for a scam artist to use.

I pass this along as a public service in case you receive the call. So now if they call you, since you know it’s a scam, you can do the right thing and, like me, try to help them with their spelling skills.

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